Conversational Confidence

The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab. Right now, everyone who knows me is suddenly thinking this all makes perfect sense.

There is so much more involved in conversation that anyone, even I, could ever condense into one little blog post.  I’ll give you my top 10 here, but if you want to truly master the art of conversation, start watching talk shows; radio programs; clubs dedicated to public speaking; ordinary conversations; you’ll see certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words. It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it’s your mouth that’s doing the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out a lot of things you know. So to start learning to be an effective communicator you need to get to know the very person closest to you: yourself.

1. What you know.
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you’ve learned. My stint as guest speaker at networking meetings taught me that we all have our limitations, but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to keep up and share what we know.

2. Listening.
It’s just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach us to be a little bit confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.

3. Humility
We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means, but rarely use it only to impress listeners. I’ve been teaching my 5 year old 4 sylabal words since he could talk. So in a group, don’t be afraid to ask if you’re saying the right word properly and if they’re unsure about it then make a joke out of it. I promise you it’ll make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.

4. Eye Contact
There’s a lot to say when it comes to directing your attention to your audience with an eye-catching gaze. It’s important that you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, even though he or she may be gorgeous.

5. Kidding around
A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech. That way, you’ll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they’ll feel that you’re just as approachable, and as human to those who listen.  Approachability directly translates into sales, so no matter how bad you think you tell a joke, work on making others comfortable.

6. Standing out from the crowd
Interaction is all about mingling with other people. But you need to be memorable. I find the easiest way for me to be memorable is to give them something, a compliment, an idea, a genuine conversation.  When I make them feel good, they remember me.

7. Me, Myself, and I
Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower, under the best shower head. I know I do! Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And you can improve the timing of any untidy sentences that tend to trip up your tounge. Thankfully rubber ducky won’t hold it against you.

8. With a smile
A smile says it all much like eye contact. There’s no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it’s a wake. You can better express what you’re saying when you smile. Think of it as an open invitation to talk to you.

9. A Role Model
Think of a speaker that you admire. How do they deliver their lines? What kinds of stories to they tell? How do they move across the stage or work the room? Making a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation
Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while other resort to being a little more silly as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Just be comfortable with what you know and enjoy your work.

These are simple tips.  For more powerful speaker training, I highly recommend the ABC’s of Speaking.

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About Adryenn Ashley

Adryenn Ashley is the unabashed author of several bestselling books including the award winning, "Every Single Girl's Guide to Her Future Husband's Last Divorce", as well as an award winning film producer and mediagenic business consultant. Her company Wow! is Me transforms everyday entrepreneurs into wildly successful business celebrities.

Comments

  1. Love your new blog!

    But you left out #11: Make sure you say MY FRIENDS at least 23 times during the conversation.

    xxoo

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