I believe speaking with confidence is one of the biggest challenges faced by many speakers. Being authentic on stage is another one yet I also believe you can speak with authentic, irresistible confidence by putting the 3 R’s into every speech you give.
One of the first things to consider is how YOU define authentic, irresistible and confidence. Here’s my definition of authentic confidence and I suggest you create your own definition to increase your chances of achieving the speaking success you desire. When you define success on your own terms there is no such thing as failure!
Authentic confidence is “acting as one’s own authority with full belief in one’s self without any masks.”
- When you own and show up as the authority of your own life, you are aware, sure, in control and all knowing about who you are, what you desire and where you are going. That kind of aura is captivating and magnetizing.
- When you occupy the space of full belief in yourself you are attractive, magnetic and exude confidence and that IS Irresistible!
My challenge for you today is for you to define what it would look and feel like to show up on the stage and speak with authentic, irresistible confidence and craft your message so you can undeniably exude just that!
I recently watched an awesome episode of Oprah’s Life Class where she had TD Jakes, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra and Iyanla Vanzant on an expert panel. What a diverse group of experts. What I appreciated about this line up was they all showed up with their own version of authentic, irresistible confidence. They each served up their own secret sauce and trusted that who ever spoke their language or needed what they offered would be intuitively led to take the next step with them.
The BEST thing about watching these thought leaders who speak—was that they all did it their own way. Deepak was soft, humble and compassionate in his words, Tony was excited and inspiring with his words, Iyanla was direct, real, sassy yet loving with her words and TD Jakes was soul-inspiring with his words. They didn’t “try” be like anyone but themselves…
Here are my 3 tips for speaking with authentic, irresistible, confidence. These tips will help you make a powerful and deep connection with the audience.
#1–Be REAL—BE genuine, be an original and be in truth—here’s how!
- DON’T—Try to be Deepak, Iyanla or Tony. Don’t follow the growing trend of mini-me’s taking the stage. If you look closely you’ll see speakers showing up like their coaches or mentors. They look, sound, act and speak like their mentor—NOT authentic! This makes people wonder “what is wrong with the real them” that they have to show up as a carbon copy of someone else. The silent message is “I am not good enough.” Not feeling good enough and or being like someone else decreases trust and like-ability.
- DO–Be at peace with who you are. Trust you and trust your message. Share your truth and the core of who you are. Show up real and allow it to be quirky, odd, different and unique. Use your uniqueness to stand out in a way like no other. I like to call this your SwagHERlicious!
#2–Be RADIANT—Be vulnerable to show the light of your soul. Participants are there to hear you speak because they are seeking something from you and your message.
- DON’T—Don’t worry so much about forgetting your words or making a fool out of yourself. Don’t doubt your light, your gift and or your message. Participants may be in the dark about something in their life and your goal is to be the light of hope, inspiration and provide a solution. –the days of pointing out pain and fear are over!
- DO—Be confident in who you are, your message and your expertise. Do speak from a genuine place of service, relax, have fun, know your stuff but be flexible enough to be in the flow. Build relationships from the stage by making intentional eye contact with participants, and stand in the space of being there to help. LOVE your message and radiate love in every word you speak.
#3– Be RELATIONAL—You can be an expert or authority and inspire and empower others to become their own authority and rise up into their expertise at the same time.
- DON’T– Patronize, lecture or overwhelmed the audience with facts, figures, slides and other information that creates overload. Connect with the soul and the mind will follow!
- DO– Create a safe place to play, make consistent eye contact, get off the stage and into the audience, make them laugh, share your truth, show your human side, BE in the moment, have fun and tell stories that deepen the experience.–THIS IS HOW YOU CREATE THE LIKE-KNOW-TRUSTABILITY FACTOR!
The REAL secret is….
No one can deliver your special message but you so you don’t have to BE like anyone else because BEing you is a part of the message…
One thing I believe to be true is that you want to be a successful sought after speaker, right? I also believe YOU want to do it with authentic, irresistible confidence! Now is the time to take that message out of your head onto the world stage and do it with authentic, irresistible confidence and I believe YOU CAN do it! Now get out there and speak!
Catrice M. Jackson, International Empowerment Speaker, Message Mentor & Platform Coach www.catricejacksonspeaks.com
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